October 4, 2004

• Corn Dogs and Haggis

  Another exciting aspect of my sister’s visit was the validation I felt when she stated flatly that she’d never eaten a corndog. We were comparing and contrasting the culture in Kansas with our east coast upbringing and one thing that I see everywhere in Kansas is corndogs. Until I moved here 10 years ago I frankly (painful pun in intended), had never even heard of a corndog.

   

  When I tell people that I’ve never eaten a corndog, they look at me like I have flaming lobsters crawling out of my ears. If anyone reading this has never eaten a corndog please leave a comment, I really don’t have an agenda here, I’m just interested.

   

  Being in Kansas, I can only assume that eating a corndog is an event of some importance, a thing that every kid does, a fun treat you get at a county fair or some other special event.

   

  I asked a few friends about their corn dog experiences and got the following responses:

  Dan, “I only eat corndogs on road trips when eating rules are suspended.”

  Cherie, “I’ve eaten tons of corndogs.”

  Eric, “Corndogs are the meat equivalent of an ice cream sandwich.”

   

  Judging by Dan’s response, my original suspicion that corn dogs are something to be avoided for anyone serious about not gaining weight is therefore given credence. The reason I say this is because a corndog is, theoretically, an all-meat frank or some other hot dog thingy dipped in a cornmeal batter and cooked until golden brown. The kind folks who answered my questions above say that they dip their corn dogs in either catsup or mustard. This is not health food but I’m sure they’re fun if you like that sort of thing. Personally, I may never eat a corn dog.

   

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  I really can’t fault others for the stuff things they eat because I have been known to eat haggis. Those of you who know what a haggis is, you are either making a face or smiling and nodding your head in solidarity. For everyone who doesn’t know what a haggis is, the recipe for a traditional haggis, and the one I make most often is:

   

          1 sheep's stomach

          2 lb. dry oatmeal

          1 lb. suet

          1 lb. lamb's liver

          2 1/2 cups stock

          1 large chopped onion

          1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper, Jamaica pepper and salt

  Boil liver and parboil the onion, then mince them together. Lightly brown the oatmeal. Mix all ingredients together. Fill the sheep's stomach with the mixture pressing it down to remove all the air, and sew up securely. Prick the haggis in several places so that it does not burst. Place haggis in boiling water and boil slowly for 4-5 hours.

  
  

  

   
  

  Mmmmm. A haggis is best (I think) when served with a stout and followed (or accompanied) by a nice single malt scotch!

   

  Each time I boil a haggis, I offer some to my beautiful wife and like clockwork, she refuses. Out of respect, I seldom eat haggis in her presence because she is so revolted by them. But on those rare occasions when I do eat haggis when she’s home, I make the offer ALSO out of respect and decorum. I don’t believe it would be civilized to eat in front of her without the offer even though she looks at me like I’ve completely taken leave of my senses.

   

  Sausages are the closest thing we have to haggis in American culture and hot dogs are probably just the bastard children of sausages and haggis.  At any rate, writing about haggis makes me want to make one but that’ll have to wait for another day.

   

   

  • 7:18 pm
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